Once the festivities of any wedding gets over it is finally time for Vidai. It is the time when the bride gets ready to leave for the grooms place. This is one of the most important things in the bride’s life when she leaves her parents place and goes to the groom’s house. So quite naturally the bride’s family especially the parents and her relatives get very emotional because it is the time when she leaves her family behind and enters a new life.

The memories of any wedding are quite important in the life of any woman. For any woman memories of her wedding are much cherished.

Once the wedding rituals gets over the bride gets prepared you leave for the bride grooms place. Each community has their own set of customs related the vidai ceremony .The bride often  follows certain rituals like giving away some puffed rice to her mother which symbolizes that she is giving back everything that she had in her parental house . Once the bride’s family and the bride starts shedding tear it is the groom who often tends to be in an awkward situation as the groom does not know how to behave  during such situations as the groom feels guilty and does not know how to react and everybody around him seems to be emotional .

Though, it is a very tense situation for the groom when he sees that his bride is trying hard to control her feelings. The groom is not expected to say anything or do something to make the bride feel better as it is quite natural for the bride to be emotional.

Though the groom might feel very uncomfortable in such situations the groom can maintain an eye contact with the bride to give her feeling of reassurance. If you have a friend or a sister with you, you can always ask them to cheer the bride up. Do not overreact or do something which might look foolish. Instead the groom should be calm as much as possible without showing any kind of expression. The groom should stand in one corner because any kind of emotion that the groom shows can be taken to be very complicated. During the vidai ceremony the bride’s father and the brother might shake hands with each other and will even tell the groom to take care of her. In such cases the groom should show them a feeling of reassurance and tell them that they need not worry about their daughter as she will be in the best of hands.

A bride’s family is also tensed about how their daughter will manage in her new household. The groom can assure them that there is no need to worry as he is going to be with the bride always.

Finally the time comes when the bride is ready to leave and might hug her family members and cry a lot. The groom is not expected to do anything in such cases and can just remain calm and composed .The groom is also not expected to say anything in such a situation and it is ideal to keep quiet.

The father of the bride often accompanies the bride to the car where she sits beside the   groom. Finally her brother just pushes the car along with her family members while the car moves ahead. It is a difficult moment for the bride’s family as they have to finally let their daughter go. The memories suddenly start rushing to the mind of the bride’s parents and to their family. They start thinking about the time spent with their daughter and they get very emotional.

In the meantime the bride might be also feeling very sad and might be thinking about her parental house and might be still crying inside the car .The groom might   feel uncomfortable but there is hardly anything that he can do.

However the groom might just give her a smile and maintain eye contact so that the bride feels better. Once they reach the grooms house. There is a great welcome ceremony arranged  for the newlywed bride. The bride comes out of the car along with the groom and there are some rituals that are being followed to welcome her to her house. The bride misses her family but once the festivities start at the groom’s house she does not have much time to think about her parental house. The ceremony of meeting the new bride soon start in the grooms house and she gets busy to decked up once again as relatives, families and friends all come together to meet her and gift her something . In the midst of all this the bride might stop crying for sometime as she might be too engrossed in the groom’s family with so many things happening at the same time. She might stop crying for a while but her mind might wander off to her parents and she might just gain feel sadness. The groom can be with her and in his own way try to make the bride happy.

The family of the groom should also play an active role in making the bride feel welcome to the new family and make her feel happy. The groom’s family might also take the initiative of asking the bride’s family to come over to their place so that the bride feels happy when she meets her parents. In some communities there is a custom of sending the bride’s sister to the grooms place so that the bride does not feel alone in the new environment and the bride has someone for company. Once the bride gets acquainted to the groom’s house, finally the bride’s sister leaves as the bride gets comfortable in the new place.

Finally the festivities seem to have come to an end as the bride gets ready to settle down in her new home.

Raja Kumar